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Tuesday, 10 February 2009

Time to Solve the Homosexuality Problem.

There's a lot of back and forth going on in the world right now, and since it's okay for the right to make sweeping generalizations, I'm going to make some too.

This is my doctrine. Suck it.

The Ian Doctrine:

1.) Gay sex is hot. Get the fuck over it.
2.) Androgyny is hot. Get the fuck over it.

The end.

Kisses.
Ian

Monday, 09 February 2009

Sexual Agency in Children

So I recently heard that 5 youths in PA, ages 15-17 are being tried for the possession of child pornography. Here's the situation. Three girls sent naked photos of themselves to two boys. The girls are being tried for possession and proliferation of child pornography, while the boys are being tried only for possession...

This is a wtf moment.

These girls are being tried for possession of a naked photo OF THEIR OWN BODY. This seems fascist to me.

Expect a post regarding the sexual agency of children. When should kids gain the right to be sexually exploratory with their own bodies? And what are the potentially serious implications of this kind of policing of the body?

It should also be noted that if convicted, all five would have to register as sex offenders for at least 10 years.

Congratulations, United States government. You have potentially ruined the lives of five teenagers who are (in my opinion) only guilty of being horny.

Kisses.
Ian
I'm Blue...REALLY Blue, Apparently...

I was folding my laundry and I realized. I have like a metric shit ton of blue clothing. When did that happen? I have blue shirts, blue briefs, blue socks, blue...JEANS?! Blues of ALL variety. I have aqua, azure, cerulean, robin's egg, turquoise, teal, cyan, cornflower, blueberry, navy, cobalt, baby blue, powder blue, sapphire, indigo, sky blue...even ANTWERP. That's right, folks. I have fucking Antwerp blue in my wardrobe.

When did this happen?? I don't even particularly LIKE blue! Now, granted, I don't DISlike blue. But this is absurd. I don't own a single green shirt. That's so sad.

This has got to stop. Time to buy some new clothes.

Wait...

I have no money.

...

Well fuck my life.

Kisses.
Ian

Sunday, 08 February 2009

Dandelion...

Okay, so I promise I'll stop with the blogging soon. It's an addiction, really. But I wanted to post this. It made me smile.

Dandelion

When Harry met Sally it was settled
That Mary Jane would fall for Spiderman
The story was set in stone like
Tarzan and Jane, Yoko and John
You were like my Hollywood movie
The butterflies and Central Park kiss
Of course you would pursue me, I was Julia Roberts
I mean, how could you resist?

Well, I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be a dandelion

So I put on the best of my Warhols
I could have been your Marilyn Monroe
But you had only eyes for the Mona Lisa
You shared my cab ride all the way home

But I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be a dandelion

I am a middle class home, I am a worn out banjo
I'll never dance in Swan Lake, I'll never play the cello
I am the Northern Lights, I am invisible
I am a dandelion, I am forever wild

I am the Fourth of July
I'm throwing you a fire in the sky
You could go blind in my light
But you were looking for an orchid
And I will always be

You were looking for a tea light
And I will always be a forest fire

A dandelion...

Kisses.
Ian
Wait...what? Like...Again? Wait, seriously?

Yeah, I know. I'm doing it again.

This maybe was a mistake. Making a public xanga, I mean. Because I have a lot of random things that I can go off on. I say this, of course, without having anything to say right now. But, I mean, isn't that one of the perks of the blogging system? That you can just drone on endlessly with absolutely nothing to say? Well, whatever. I'm doing it anyway.

So Valentine's Day is coming up. I used to get sad around V-Day because three years in a row I had relationships end right before February. And I just remember thinking to myself, "What the fuck. Seriously? Are you fucking kidding me?" because is it SO much to ask to just go on a date for Valentine's Day? I mean, admittedly, I'm a romantic, and it'd be nice to have an outlet for all that maudlin goop that seems to ooze out of my pores this time of year. But so far it hasn't been in the cards for me. As for this year, I'll probably get drunk on Rosé and eat a bit of chocolate. Color me cliché, but hey. I don't have to impress you people.

At some point you stop letting this sort of thing bother you. Instead of walking down the street fuming with resentment every time you see two bodies touching, you learn to simply smile, sigh, cast a glance up and think "someday..."

An ellipsis is a good way to end that sort of thought...

Kisses.
Ian

(by the way, 25 Things post is totally coming tonight. I have so much stuff to avoid)